02.38am, Sex and the City, Big Mac and my bed. It sounds like a classic Friday night, even though it’s far from that. I would lie if I said I have spent even one Friday night at home alone during past three months. It makes me laugh. Didn’t I always want to move to the big city and live a the life like Carrie Bradshaw ? No, I actually never did because I think she is a bit dull and that’s the reason she’s my least favorite of the four but there is still something that makes me feel like I’m living her life. Maybe it’s the fact I’m typing this post in the first hours of Saturday, eating takeaway in my bed. But I’m not a woman, I live in London and I don’t have the non judging breakfast club, yet. I am not her.
It feels weird. I don’t feel lonely, it’s just so different. I have met people new people. I have danced to the morning and I have seen the sunrise at the river Thames more than twice. If someone would had told me that five years ago I probably wouldn’t have belive that. And here I am in the greatest city in Europe, lying my bed writing this post and eating takeaway even though it’s not Chinese. It’s funny that the Mac Donald’s it the closest place I can get food and I just went there for the first time. Maybe because I never spend Fridays at home.
Week ago I downloaded Tinder. I always judged people using it but I just had to. That app hasn’t impressed me, yet, but I will give it proper try. I want to meet new people. Why does everyone either have sex or get married? Anyway, good night or morning what ever the time is for you. I should close my eyes now. It’s 04.54am. If I was opening today I would have just woke up and got dressed, haha. Shine and rise.
I know this sounds bazar. I can’t belive it. I can’t face the truth. I never wear same outfit twice.
Ok, maybe that’s not the complete truth but the truth is I rarely wear same outfits more than once or twice. I realized that yesterday when I wore basically this same outfit in these pictures again. I only wore my black Dr. Martens and different pair of grey trousers, these in the pictures doesn’t exist anymore, I fall and broke them one wild night. I also don’t have the sunglasses as I broke them as well.(sniff) So basically I didn’t even wore the same outfit..
My fried took these pictures for me last spring. I really liked the outfit but never wore it again. Yesterday when I just get some clothes I can wear in work I realized that’s the same outfit I wore before. And I really liked it. I’m not shamed about wearing same outfits, it’s not about that. I just have so much clothes (still here in London too) I just make new combinations time after time. Even tough I have the perfect outfit I rarely make the same combination again. Mixing your wardrobe is fun and that’s why I do that. It’s not that I don’t want to wear same outfit again, I do. I just enjoy creating new looks.
And now if someone is wondering, yeas I have uniforms. I work in a coffee shop and most of the time I wear same shirts and jeans. But it’s when I don’t wear my work clothes. I spent the past year in the army so I had so little time in my civil life so wearing same outfits was not possible for me. I had so many clothes and I wanted to wear them all. I used to change my clothes few times a day to wear them all.
I don’t know do I make any sence. This is so random and wired post I should stop writing now, haha. My point probably was to share these amazing pictures and outfit I really like but never wore again.
Few weeks ago I wrote post about how I have had the feeling of starting to write more about me and life. Right after I published that post I couldn’t write anything. No words came up to my head. I have stared hours and hours of the white screen of my MacBook without anything coming up. Not a damn one word. My fingers has floated above the keys without touching any of them. I’ve suffered writers block. I made decision to write basically anything about everything and now I can’t choose what to write or not to write.
I wrote few months ago how much can happen in a day in London. One day I asked my colleague to walk with me home (we live in same direction) but we went to movies and ended up to the other side of the city to look the lights of the London skyline with our colleagues. She only wanted to show me one park where we didn’t even go. I went to the club with friend of mine without neither of us knowing Charli XCX was performing there that night. I have had so many feelings I haven’t had before. One week I was in love without knowing why? I am still wondering to who or what I was in love? I only know I wasn’t in love either with someone including myself, London or life.
I have experienced and felt so many things. There is no time to think between things happening. I am not the same person I was when I booked my fight or googled hostels to go at Heathrow airport. Ooh so many stories I want to share. I feel I have get rid off blocks I have had. I am in the point anything can happen. I can be anything I want if I just let things happen. I am tabula rasa, the blank slate ready to get filled. I feel somethings coming and I can’t wait it to come. I have had crises with me and who I am here in London and damn I have more crises coming. Can’t wait. That is life.
I was not supposed to post these pictures to the blog but the white shirt and back round reflects better than perfect this post. My colleague shoot these pictures for me about week ago. We took these pictures to sed to modeling agencies. I don’t know do I want or not to become model. In 2014 I was in the modeling course and I liked it, I was just too young to start my career. Now I am here in London and this is my time to try. Why wouldn’t I? I will keep you in touch if some of the agencies contact me and if this idea of modeling is something for me or not.
Now if you excuse me I got to go. Things to happen are waiting.
I have hardly ever written properly about me and my thoughts in my whole blogging history. Few times have I shared my feelings but you don’t actually know anything about me. And the truth is nobody does. Not even me. I never talk about me because I like to listen people. I think that’s more important. Now I still feel like sharing my life more. That’s the reason people write blogs, right? Don’t belive I tell you everything. Everybody has few secrets and subjects they don’t want to talk. But don’t think I would lie to you. I hate people who lies and that’s why always tell the truth.
Friend of mine asked why wouldn’t I write my feelings and thoughts on my blog. Why wouldn’t I? Now in London I try to meet new people, do stuff and explore as much as possible. If writing wouldn’t damage me or anybody else why wouldn’t I write about it. Lets see where it takes us? I am starting a slow and long journey with me and my blog and I want to shear it with everybody who’s interested.
I took these with the most loveliest Austrian girl I messaged on Instagram. We had such a great photo shoot and post photo shoot in Magnum pleasure with the Instagram ice creams in Covent Garden. I will share these pictures properly later. I just love the ’footway ahead closed’ sign in the picture, which I actually put there on purpose. Why not to sill keep going? Who cares? Don’t let some serious people change your right way.
// I’m sorry about the lay out and everything. I will change in fix everything, just give be time and be patient, I am busy working and exploring.